ME MYSELF (THE 3rd)
Dear friends,
A daughter, a wife & a mother; that’s what I am today.
A lady who is
68 years young and raring to go…
Life…has dealt with me or I have dealt with
circumstances as they unfolded along the path of life, where time & tide took its toll. Today I
wish to write some things personal..
Some say, I have
a natural flare for writing, some say
, my language is a bit too flowery; some
say I should write a book, some say well , its just so so;
while quite a few say :
I should make small video clippings!!
A-a-a-a-n-d-- I’m sure many would be laughing out at my such blatant admissions!!!!t
To understand the psychology , of LIFE, and in a simple way wanting to understand My SELF And what is.. LIFE & LIVING.!!! Lets discuss further....
Living my life, living with my family, as I interact with each and every one at home
, outside our home, with relatives, with neighbours, within the community that we belong to, like
every one else, I feel its time we try
and unravel this mystery of LIFE.
In the first five episodes I wrote on “This is
Life”, and then I treaded on to “LIFE & LIVING”. Now, while
you live -you naturally interact with people around, - those people are either
your friends , comrades, colleague’s, or relatives!! Whether you are friendly or not with your
relatives, is a matter of palpable consideration, but
notwithstanding its- all “DOST &
DOSTI” that always runs SUPREME. So I have touched on all these topics in the first four episodes of mine! Following this, I then ventured out on to the
most important requirement’s of or for
any human being. RKM..ROTI/ KAPDA AUR
MAKAAN-(5th episode) But here
if you re-read this episode, it’s RKM diversified! You should re-read RKM to understand what I
mean by RKM diversified, I’ve given RKM a tangential twist!!
And then after RKM,
I thought, its high time I now write some thing about myself, lest you
get bored of my written scripts and wonder who the author is?
So, out came tumbling a little here and a little there of myself,(6 th episode) and my family. Yes, I did share my school days, and how being the daughter of an Army
officer we changed schools and how change of schooling coupled with
changing of companions/ and teachers, all lead n helped my personality get evolved.
I also briefly talked about my family.
And then I was
itching to get back to the herculean and humongous topic of RELATIONSHIPS , and
after that, I wanted to write on Life and lets find ways n means and how to
work on our LIFE;
I’m sure you would have found them hard hitting, maybe
boring, and without juice or any interesting masala. Thats when I started to
write about the basics of “ EMOTIONS”. How
they play a pivotal role on / in our life and how we can make / mar our life if
we learn the art of emoting well, which then brought me to the next topic of “ESSENCE OF LIFE”!!!
Yes, after
hard hitting serious and near complicated topics I wanted you n myself to
unwind and relax, so then I poured out my heart in the next episode (11th)of “ME
& MYSELF -2nd” !!.
Here it was time to give an insight into what n how I
became the way I am today ; who all helped me modulate my mind and my psyche.
Yes , I wrote
about my father & my Grand father- and also briefly touched upon my Mom and
how I was, and am still impressed by my Nani.
Ab, bari aayee bataney ki , ki mein ek doctor hoon,
to fir naturally I wanted to write some things that gave credibility to my
profession and an insight to my passion : a PREVENTION DOCTOR, so out came an
episode ..”AFTER ALL ..I’AM A DOCTOR”,
Post this article,
I wrote one on “HEALTH &
SICKNESS”, and then made an elaborate write up covering the new nomenclature I
coined during KORONA KAAL: “WEALTHINESS VS
W_ HEALTHINESS”. I wrote this during
KORONA Kaal ( it was published in PUNJAB Kesari at that time).Since it was
preety long, I had to divide it into
three partes for my blogs.
And now, after all the hard n harsh hitting fundas that
I have enunciated- I thought , its time to relax, to unwind, to talk a little
about My self again…
So here is one as my 18th episode,
Its time here I write about the females of my LIFE who
helped me shape into what I am today:
MY MOTHER, MY MASI, MY NANI
My Mother: Mrs Vimla Anand, eldest born of Mr. Dewan Ram
Chand and Smt. Saraswati Devi
My Nanaji was sent by his Advocate father- Dewan Khilinda Ram of Multan
(now in Pakistan) to England , where he graduated as a Barrister and returned to his motherland
and worked there.
I can probably write a lot about my impressions and
memoirs of our stay with them , when we went to stay with them during holidays at ROHTAK (Haryana) where they
retired n settled down after partition.
Well, my mother was a house wife, and a stern , and strict,
disciplinarian as I remember her.
She always wanted us kids to keep the room tidy, fold
our clothes and place them in cupboards properly, and eat food at the proper
time.
We grew up more under her chaperonage as father being
from the services had to go to field areas, where families were not allowed to
go.
Nuances of house keeping, folding of washed & dried clothes,
ironing of clothes for the family was part of my extra curricular activities.
Mama’s house help did not come in - every evening, she was irregularly regular! And since mother used to remain quite unwell, especially in the evening hours, the burden of cooking fell on my wee shoulders ; So, she slowly initiated me into cooking simple basic meals, which I gradually picked up, initially to help her, but later on many an evening dinner was cooked by me , along with the chapatis. So basics of day to day cooking I learnt from her while I was in classes 6/7/8 itself!!! I did feel cha grained , many a time, for what was a duty for me initially, (a couple of my friends knew, n would jest once in a while that Amita cannot come for the evening walk ..since she has to cook the evening meal)!; later on became a practice and I learnt many more dishes from her as I moved up the ladder of time and tide ( besides the school, the home work and cooking in the evenings, I thus learnt the art to juggle myself in all these roles,..) And I became more proficient and more confident of myself.
Next, I owe to my mom a huge gratitude; Seeing my interest in Music- she got me a
tutor who came home and taught me Harmonium and Tabla. When we shifted base to
Jabalpur as I mentioned to you earlier, a Piano was brought home and I learnt Piano
at school and practiced at home. I still remember the time when I gave my music exams,
how anxious n worried I was!!!
My mother loved having people around; she loved
entertaining and cooking food for friends and relatives, she took great care of
all of us, respected all elders in the extended family, gave credit n care to
the helpers and caretakers who assisted her in home care, but used the iron rod
and that’s what made us disciplined and independent; would not brook any
nonsense, would not let us bunk school, always saw a movie first , and if
parents approved , we were allowed to see it, she would read the fiction books
that were given from my school library , before she decided that I could read
it.
Well, that’s what my mother stood for.
A highly principled, righteous , disciplined lady, who
was vocal about her likes and dislikes; if she did not approve a thing, would
comment her mind clear & loud, she loved helping out, who so ever- but
asked her for help , and was much wanted
by relatives , esp. during family weddings, where she would be called in a few days before the functions.
She would take over the kitchen, and right from Menu planning , she
would cook to the delight of all around.
She taught me discipline, decorum, being clear in mind
and never to fear while expressing your views or desires. Yes --I loved my
mother , but was scared of her temper.
My MASI: Mrs Lalita Kinra, w/o Mr Hari Chand Kinra.
(..we share the
same b'day)
Always remember
her as a very bright FULLON intelligent lady, who always has some jokes /
stories up her sleeves, when ever we two families would meet at ROHTAK.
Her command of English language, her pronunciations,
and delivery of some beautiful poems & proverbs are still etched in my
mind. Once when my Mausa ji suffered a major heart attack, I was sent to Ernakulam
where they used to stay. Aim of sending me was to assist my Masi and be
with her, coz, my two other siblings still had exams that were looming large,
on their heads. I had just finished my Matric
exams , and being the only free person was saddled off to Ernakulam with a
fauji couple. (first time unaccompanied
by immediate family,_- it sure was an experience)
I was sent since my mom could not go. How much I was
of assistance I do not know, what I know is that I came back flushed with
experience , learnt a lot from her, she
saw to it that I visited a lot of places, with her best of friends (see, I told you my Mausa ji was unwell, and
convalasceing and she saw to it that I was not ignored). Stayed with
her for nearly more than two & half months and came back enamored by
her personality and enigma!!
Friends, you
will be amused n pleasured to learn that she is almost 94 years young today, Yes, age has taken a toll on her physical
self, but she can still outwit any one in days/ dates/ incidents/ stories of
the remote past, should you but ask her, provided she is not tormented by her
aches n pains that day.
Just to tell you, what all she still does in her 24
hour regime:
She paints, she plays the cassio, a makes a lot of handicrafts. Seeing her zest
for life , I feel ashamed to say im growing OLD!!!
And now my grandmother,
My NANI..Smt Saraswati devi
(My Nani & my son)
A lady- I still admire the most. My Nani has been my Mentor along with my
father.
While my father held my hand and inducted me into the
nuance of being a good orator,( he used to say: you are my only daughter…I love
you loads; but Anoop is our first born & Chottu our youngest, and I love
them to the moon & back.) So , if I
was his apples eye so were they his two blue eyed stars.
He had a way with words, and knew how to deliver what
and where, made every one around comfortable.He was the best- one could have
for a father , friend, philosopher , guide n mentor!
My Nanaji I owe
my diction, my pronunciations, my indepth knowledge about, all / many
abbreviations, what they stood for , & how to speak without faltering and
make fluent, continuous sentences rolled into long paragraphs, it was my NANI,
who actually taught me how to handle LIFE.
Obviously, I cannot do justice by writing just a couple
of pages on her.
She was a staunch Arya Samagist.to quote about her: SUCH WAS HER CHARISMA: She was expected to go for the weekly Sunday HAVANS, and when she faltered ‘coz of his frail health, the ARYA SAMAJ started holding weekly HAVANS at their home.
As a kid , when ever we visited them, out of the few tasks
expected out of me, besides reading the
news paper for my NANAJI (I mentioned
earlier- remember…), I sat with her for the daily Havan. And , you will be amused to know, I still
remember 50% of the shlokas , which we used to enunciate then , I do so even
now!!
I need to mention how she had a way of making you
think the way we should:
I’m told- I was very fond of Nonveg. So,post one of
the Havan sessions she held my hand and said…”Meat/ Chicken dish- ek jeev jantu ki
hatya karke banta hai. Usko hum pakatey hain aur us jeev ko fir hum khatey
hain.
Hum jeev hatya kartey hain!
I was so shaken, so disturbed, I stopped taking Non
veg and it took me several years to get back to even tasting it again.
Such was her influence on me.
She once gave me three little booklets when I was in
class 8
1)
VAID RAJ-NIMBOO
2). VAIDRAJ
AANWALA
.3) VAID RAJ.. TULSI.
I still have her these three booklets.
She always wanted to be a doctor, but if
only wishes were horses…..
WELL, she practiced a lot of naturopathic remedies
, many of them we follow in our home
even now.
Her special attributes:
A quiet, simply
speaking, very hard working lady who went about doing the family chores, doing
her marketing errands, and managing cooking and took care of the huge house
that they lived in. I never ever saw her
complaining, or in bed/lazing when time n requirement expected her to be up
and about tending to some job/ errand.
And enigmatic , die hard optimist, whose qualities I will never be able to write
and do justice about.
About LIFE
The Saar of life, the Gist, the Crux, I know not whether
she made it to that stage or phase, but I never saw her complaining about
anything.
My parents would have their own experiences to share,
but I would like to add that as long as she was around, she always guided me , and guided me with
absolute correctness, and explained to me what was right from wrong.
There are many a incidents I can quote but that is
beyond the scope here.
Just one incident:
I did most of my Med. school studies after
marriage,(that’s a complete new chapter I will not talk about as of now). But,
once when my husband was doing a course in PUNE and I was at BHOPAL trying to
study for my up & coming exams, we got a trunk call that he was admitted in MH (Military hospital) . I was
worried , anxious,& naturally tense.
Had my exams in 15 days time, and husband in hospital at Pune!!
I found myself in,an incorrigible delimma!!
Mom wanted me
to study , that husband would get better and I should not worry, I wanted to
naturally go,I sought my Nanis advise.
She said “ Exam hota rahega-Go, he needs you now.!!
Much to the chagrin of my mom, I left. Of course, my
studies suffered, but it was a learning, and how to weigh one over the other, I
learnt from her.
This was an important lesson of my LIFE
(My Nanaji& Naniji)
Zindagi ki daastan yun he chalti rahi, aur yun he aur
aagey chaltee rahegi..
Bachpan se ladakpan, ladakpan se college,
College chod kar shaadi kari, apni padai ki raftaar me
rukaavat aa gayee.
Kya zindagi rukeee???????
Kya sooraj aur chanda ji ne aana chod diya????
Aap bhi jantey hain…waqt gujarta gaya----
Mein 20 se 30, 30 se 40, 40 se aur aagey badtee rahi…
Mere parivaar ko sanjotee rahi…
Haan- waqt mila , sama aaya , aur padaii poori bhi ki. Doston:
DOCTOR BHI BAN gayee
Zindagi ka kaaravaan chalta raha .
Mein yun he aagey agrasar hoti rahi!!
Mere poorvajon ne jo jo mujhe samjhaya, jo jo meine
apnaya, uska falsafa …Aaj mein hoon!!
Is par aap ko, aaiwam Me- myself -3rd ko
chodti hoon aur aap sab se request karti
hoon ki aap sab aapne poorvajon ko apne saath, apne man me rakheyin, aur unke
aashirvaad se aur aagey baedeyin , aur aagey shikhar par chadeyin.
Lest, you get teased off with my monologue, lets take a
break here from Me- Myself now. Shall return on this topic .. 5 episodes later
Till then
Lets enjoy what i'm going to share in the next ones
that will come sooooooon......
Ba bye....
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