KARVACHAUTH

 

TO FAST OR NOT TO FAST ON KARVA CHAUTH….IS NOT THE QUESTION  ///???

Well,   WELL,…well   !!

Karva Chauth is just over;

I’m sure you will all agree with me that our motherland India was in a grip of frenzied excitement. The fervour and josh especially amongst the women folks was in the air. It was palpable, and infectious. It was like a viral bug that had caught all women   all over the country  (esp northern India)!!  

 Yes ,we all know that Karva Chauth is essentially a festival based on some religious story (    many stories have been propounded) ;   majority of women still follow the dictum as laid down by the elder women  of the family & community, and  mind you, follow to the letter ‘ T’, but if you were to look around, see and feel the pulse of the people, you too, will realise that the psyche of the women and to a large extent- of the young, educated, n accomplished men , has undergone a Mental change. A great shift of the Vernier calliper is definitely palpable: The significance of Karva Chauth, the meaning of what and how the young generation see, feel n perceive it as, and you will be pleasantly amused , much to the chagrin of majority of the 70+  and  consternation in the expressions of the 80+ plus ( if people are around in closed community circles) as they fathom the change.

 This change has brought in a lot of sharing ,  caring, togetherness, Bon hominess, comradeship, and bonding amongst the young couples, and I am personally very happy with that.

Now without much ADO: lets talk further : What is this change, and why am I personally writing about it?

To understand what I’m wanting to share, lets get back to some basic Q’s

Why do we celebrate Karvachauth?

What is its significance NOW?

What are the Benefits &  Adverse effects?

Why do only Women keep it?

A Neo TREND has set ‘in’-------------Lets dig further into

-----But before we get into the semantics, I wish to share my Journey of how and what all I did and a few interesting anecdotes of my life associated with this tyohaar.

 

Some personal anecdotes:

My first karva Chauth (😊1976); BHOPAL

I was  very excited to keep the fast. My husband was  away at Pune, with his battalion. I was with my parents who were Arya samajis, ( my mother did not believe in the concept of fasting😉)   Yes, I was five months into pregnancy and my parents were worried sick how I would manage it all. Never the less, I started off, without food and water, time dragged and then I had a bout of hiccouphs. All were worried, tried to give me sips of water, but I did not give in. After some time the hiccouphs stopped. A couple of hours later the hiccoughs re started, and then my mother got annoyed, my father was very concerned, but secretly happy that I was fasting,  (You see, his wife never fasted, he wanted her to fast, but never insisted. He loved her, and respected her enough to put pressure on her to do so!)   I  was also worried about the baby inside me. After half an hour hiccoughs suddenly stopped. I gave into their pressures- that should they occur again , I would definitely have water. As though Karva Mata heard it,… I did not have any more hiccoughs that night !!!!. The day  was eventful: interspersed with anxiety, worry, excitement and tensions., but the first Moon light and it was done .

My 2nd Karvachauth(1976-PUNE):

We were in the battalion. Saw a new culture. All ladies congregated at the Mess in the evening and we did a Samuhik Pooja. It was the ever first time , and Mrs Nimmi Varma who had by then turned my Mentor on many a front, guided me into the nitty gritty , the customs n traditions and what all I was expected to do.

See- I had mentioned , my mother never did this fast, had no  experience. My Mother- in -law was in Kapurthala( Punjab), and her  Postal services Inland letter with all procedures to do n not to do list, arrived much later that the Karva chauth date. So I had just done a passable Vrat, and minimalistic pooja at Bhopal- the ever first time.

Here at PUNE I sat amongst other ladies , dressed in all their finery and I learnt a lot that day.

My 3^rd Karva Chauth Vrat (1977):

This time I was with my In-laws at Kapurthala.

My Mother in law inducted me into the actual rituals, and after evening Pooja started me with a glass of Hot Milk. According to her, If your MIL initiates you into any such  add on, you could and you should!! After all -sasu ma ney shuru kara diya tha.!!!!

Many years later I asked her” Why don’t you take some thing after Pooja/” her prompt reply-“ I started you into it.  You can carry on…. My MIL did not, so I cant” ,

That’s how a no of years passed by.

 MEERUT—1991

 I was fortunate to be called CO sahab ki Memsahab!! By then I had wisened up, matured and knew most of the rituals. A young little girl , a recent bride came home to ask my Mother in law to help her start her first Karva Chauth.

That was the beginning of a tumoultous experience. My Mother in law, whom we all affectionately called Beeji, planned to get her across  (she lived right behind our house)And slowly as the evening and the plannings fortified, we landed up calling all the officers wives to my house at 4.55 am the next morning.

We were scared to tell my husband , we hid the planning and preparations, called up his  Second in command and told him of our plan. Well, each and every one landed up at 4.55 am .It was a startling shock to my husband ; but we all thoroughly enjoyed, the hustle n bustle of so many ladies in and out of my house, the Gobhi ka parathas, the sevvaiiyaans all was such a hurried twirl and swirl of activities. The men were flustered, but they too enjoyed thoroughly, and just before day break all rushed out and back to their homes.

Well, the ladies were again back for Mehndi lagwaii. You can imagine , how I made a girl sit on the pillion of my LUNA ( she was all but 15 years of age, was one of my patients ) how I brought her home , how every one waited for her turn to come, (In The Army echelon , even the ladies have to wait for their turns as per their husbands seniority.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then, they went home, to hurriedly change and return for the evening Pooja, which my Beeji conducted. So many ladies of different parts of the country.. Mizoram, Gujrat, Tamilnadu where they do not follow this Vrat, also got carried away with the frenzy, and yes- they too did pooja!!!

But I was not to be out done yet!  I catered for Dinner for all-- inclusive of Husbands and kids. Yes, I did have a 24/7 maid living in my out house, as also some home staff. They all helped a lot.  The crowd reappeared again by 7.30 pm, and much to the perplexed expressions , of my father in law, my husband and all the men who  were accompanying their wives.(The bachelor’s were of course also part of the celebration gang and were the main force helping me out.

Why I’m writing all this is???..

Never had we done such a Herculean 4.55 am to 11.30 pm long event that involved Vrat rakhna, mehndi lagana, Pooja karna / karwana/ and then finally Chanda mama ko dekhna , party games for all till the Chanda mama arrived and finally the dinner.

PHEW!!!!

And  I’m also adding a few photographs to prove my point.. It became the talk of the town  - I had set in a NEW  TREND. Till date the ladies who had participated in that event at Meerut, go GAGA GAGA when they reminisce about that DAY- DATE- and That particular Event.  Nowadays, ofcourse, we know that it is a very common knowledge, that, every community, every colony, every mandir conducts such functions  in a big way.

Srinagar--1994--

I need to mention here that then my husband was in Srinagar. I was then working in Meerut,but was very keen to be with him for the upcoming Karva Chauth. I reached Jammu. The vehicle from Jammu to Srinagar gave up enroute. I was aghast, depressed and dejected.; But hell bent to reach Srinagar. Times were not conducive, there was Militancy in the air;  Mentally I just prayed and prayed for some JADOO to happen--- “ KARVA MATA” was more   than obliging..--- I got a miraculous lift, and reached Srinagar, much to the consternation, & disbelief of my husband and his colleagues.

Next day was KARVA CHAUTH. And I went on ahead and did much the same re play of events as I had done at Meerut.

This Is the power of this Vrat.

It makes things happen !!!

Before you all get browned off with my stupid stories, lets take a look at some serious stories:

ORIGIN OF KARVACHAUTH N BRIEF HISTORY:

Literal meaning:  Offering of “Aragya” to the Moon, using an earthen ware pot   popularly called ‘Karva’,  on the Chaurthi  (fourth day of the dark fortnight.) of the Karthika month every year. Though the origin of this festival is still very hazy a no. of anecdotes are associated with it.

I  shall in brief  tell you about the titles of some stories which kind of explain why this festival is celebrated?

1)The story of Queen Veeravati  ( popularly Punjabis follow this story)

2)The story of Queen Draupadi

3) The story of the KARVA

4) The story of Satyavan & Savitri: Karva Chauth can be traced back to Mahabharata times, when Savitri implored the deity of Death, Lord YAMA, for the soul of her Spouse.

Any one keen to learn more about these stories,,,you have to approach the GOOGLE BABA AND HE WILL BARE IT ALLLLL!

Time for some Questions…

  Why does only a wife have to keep fast during Karva Chauth for the husbands longevity?

Is the wife not supposed to enjoy longevity?

Q: Why do we celebrate it?

This festival holds utmost importance in Hindu culture. Its popularity is seen more so in the Northern & North western regions of our country.  A massive chunk of the male population of these regions were soldiers of the Indian army,  and officials of the Military forces; worries about their safety   of their menfolk, women from these areas started to FAST.

Be it the Army/ the Police, or the soldiers of the para military forces, while men undertook the task of saving their country by manning the borders, the women used to pray for their longevity. So a day and date was ascribed , and the ladies would adorn them selves with the utmost finery, bedecked with the bestest of the best, would celebrate with fervour n enthusiasm.  The fast also brings luck and prosperity to the family.

While this exclusively is associated with women fasting , these days a new awareness, is gaining momentum:  We find a large no of men (husbands ) accompany their wives and fast along with them. This has added a huge dimension to their relationship. It speaks of semi equal sharing n caring. This gesture has made this festival more n more extra special as it signifies LOVE/ UNDERSTANDING// COMPASSION FROM BOTH PARTNERS.

What are the benefits n adverse of the festival?And what care should be taken?

1)Good Digestive System:  It provides a vacation for the digestive system, this might enhance health n digestion in general. While women eat Sargi  (very fine vermicelli brewed in milk—this  delicacy especially is only available  this time of the year),and may also  have fruits/ sweet meats/ Gobhi parathas ;  care should be taken , not to take too much of fried stuff in the  early hours, coz not being in a position to drink  water and fluids for the rest of the day, might add heightened levels of acidity, which may be counter productive to the effort.  By abstaining from food and drinks, even for a day, the body shifts its focus towards internal cleansing and rejuvenation. This does allow the digestive system to rest and reset, potentially improving the digestive system and over all well being.

2) Enhances the SMRITI & DHRITI:

Dhi, Dhriti, & Smriti are the pre requisites for any spiritual progress.

The Sanskrit root word ‘dhi’ refers to intellect.

Where  as  Dhriti is the power to assimilate knowledge, the word ‘Smriti” is the ability to retain the imbibed knowledge,  such that it can be accessed when one wants,- some thing -like a good memory. This fasting has a direct,  positive and healthy impact on the brain.

3) Detoxifies the Body:

The Vrat kept for one full day, helps the body to neutralize the Toxins and thus keeps the body naturally detoxified, thus aids in maintaining Good health.

4) Boosts Immunity:  A Vrat kept for full day, recycles the old white blood cells, while helping in regeneration of newer ones. This process leads to improvement  in the immune system,.

SOME ADVERSE EFFECTS AND HOW TO TACKLE THEM:

1)  Fasting especially without water can be physically demanding and may not be suitable for every one.

2)Pregnant /breast feeding women should take care. Fasting can deprive both the mother and child  of essential nutrients and fluids. It is imp for them to maintain a well balanced diet for well being of both.

3) Elderly / Older individuals may have specific dietary needs and health concern. Fasting could potentially exacerbate existing health conditions or lead to nutritional deficiencies.

4) DIABETES:  Fasting can significantly affect the blood sugar levels. Diabetic females who want to undertake this fast, must ideally consult their doctor first.

5) HYPERTENSION:  Fasting can lead to drop in B.P  which can jeopardise the health status.

6) HEART DISEASE:  Such patients must modify their  fasting pattern so as not to get into dehydration and or other complications.

7) KIDNEY DISEASE:  Such patients need to take caution reg. fluid intake. Fasting without proper hydration can exacerbate kidney issues.

8) GIT DISORDERS: Conditions like Peptic ulcers, gastritis, or inflammatory diseases can be aggravated  by fasting.

9)EATING DISORDERS: Individuals with eating disorders should avoid restrictive fasting practices  , as it may trigger/ exacerbate disordered eating patterns.

10)  CHRONIC ILLNESSES: Cancer/HIV/ AIDS or Auto immune disorders, may have specific dietary and nutritional requirements that could get compromised.  Fasting may interfere  with the effectiveness of such treatments. So proper care should be taken.

12) INDIVIDUALS WITH LOW BODY WEIGHT: They must take care of their level of hydration , and electrolyte imbalances should be borne in mind.

11) INDIVIDUALS ON MEDICATION: Some medications may need to be taken with food, so better to consult your doctor before embarking on such fasts.

 

      Q   Is there any logic behind karvachauth?

Karvachauth story of Satyavan & Savitri: It is said that when ‘Yama’, the God of Death came to acquire Satyavan’s life, Savitri begged in front of Yama to grant him life.

This karvachauth  ki kahani is narrated even today and married women pray to KARVA MATA for the well being and happiness of their husbands.

Many girls who are engaged to be married start doing the Vrat even before their marriage is solemnised.

Q. WHY DO ONLY WOMEN KEEP KARVACHAUTH?

A:  It was the total exclusivity of  married females, to keep this day long fast from dawn to first Moon light.

Then it was believed that the married women kept this fast , dressed in their Sunday best, adorned n decorated like BRIDES;  Ultimate aim was.. praying for longevity and well being of their husbands. While fasting like this- without even a drop of water, it could be challenging, especially for the very New brides; there have been instances—at times even these days, when young brides/ the very  thin and lean ones, or , women who have just delivered/  or  have just recovered from illness / are well into pregnancy / lactating, it at times    can be quite physically challenging ; but it is an expected norm that despite all the hardships/ odd situations the females are expected to carry on. Many an elderly female saw to it that the young ones did not eat / drink any thing, lest it forbodes a bad omen/ curse on their son, kept a very vigilant eye on the young fasting married females,  their interpretation is that since it symbolises  love, all efforts should be undertaken to see that it carries on  into the culmination .

Incidentally even now ,most women believe that this commitment and sacrifice that they  undertake on this special day/ date/ occasion, they do it for their husband and it will not only give longevity, to their husbands, but also good health and would help in bridging the gap between them if it exists, ie: increase their love for each other many fold.

It is a religious ritual, essentially followed by women. But last 20 / odd years I personally have seen a change, a definite change for the better.

The men, I mean, HUSBANDS, an increasing percentage of them, especially the literate, educated, cultured lot ,  have started to accompany their wives in this ritual. They too now fast with their wives. This shows a new shift ,a  new psyche- a shift of caring and understanding by the male!   This is a new trend. More and more men are now joining the league of husbands who want to fast along with their wives. They too rise early in the morning, partake the early morning delicacies, there is bon hominess[AB1] , rejoicing that starts from day break. While women did it all alone, the men now help their women do the pre Ksarva Chauth shopping , encourage their wives to visit the parlours and go through the entire motion of pooja, waiting in anticipation for the Moon to show up and the dinner after that. They too break their fast along with their wives.

This has become a fashion and a trend now, much to the chagrin of some oldies (I personally feel it’s a very welcome trend) whose husbands wait till the moon came up.

Q  Why does only a wife have to keep fast during karva Chauth for the husbands longevity?

Is the wife not supposed to enjoy longevity?

 A:   I read some where  in the QUORA:   That the average age and when a  of a man is approximately 76 years, while a woman dies  approximately around 81;   so may be,  taking this into consideration, the women started to pray for the longevity of their men.  I assume, the ancient women recognised this truth and ritualised this into Karva Chauth.

 However the social context is different :  As in ancient India, Men went Hunting, as well as to face Wars.  Times were bad  and difficult: terrain inhospitable, travel mode mainly on foot-.Climatically situations could be difficult and formidable. Thus harnessing the nature’s powers and potential must have been ritualised, hoping and praying for the return of their spouses , may be this is another twist to how Karva Chauth was initiated.

But that’s not all. There is Gross gender inequality that still exists in our country, despite the catapulting into modernism and 21’st millennium. To speak out aloud , many rituals and customs especially in India are  still gender biased, may be to ensure subjugation, and /or show male superiority over their spouse for  showing SUPREMACY.

What ever be the reasons, to day’s point of my writing all this is:

Now equation has changed:

Bridging the gap, coming down from the ancient past, and catapulting our minds to the Present, to today and to yesterday, the Karva Chauth just sped by…..What I want to write is::

Either both should fast, or none should fast!!!.

Husbands and wives both earn equally, some times wives are not only earning more than their male spouses  as also in quite a few cases the husbands are younger than their wives.

Both travel and go outside of house to work; So its   upto  the couple to decide whether to fast for each other and also to giveaway the tradition of wife touching the feet of the husbands.

If people say that women should not touch their husbands feet, (it bespeaks of male dominance)  then the English custom of a man falling  on one knee, to propose to his Lady In Love, should also be done with.

If women love the act   of their boy friend, fiancé, husband in the making, to drop on his   one knee to propose, then esp the Indian women should also not mind touching their feet  as well.

Couples should respect choices and not see each other through a SINGLE LENS. We should leave it on the couple to decide the way they exercise their options to love each other.

A big change is ‘in ‘.

Men either discourage their wives from fasting on Karva Chauth, or they also join in into this  fasting movement. Most couples are not much into religion these days. They like to see the science behind it all. They like to reason out the logic.

Men fasting for their wives is taken today as a very sweet gesture, they say it’s a day to express love for each other;  Remember in days gone by, we did not have Valentines day, there were no Blind dates , very few had the opportunity to go for romantic movie dates.

  In days gone by ,there used to be joint families, where all gathered together in the festivities, now with Nuclear families being the system that is the psyche of the young blood, they just have each other for one-another. So  now  that this trend of couple fasting on Karva Chauth is gaining momentum, and personally I find it as  it’s a very fine and positive step in Indian social circles.

Times are also difficult, as it is , the hours of work are getting longer and longer, couples commuting long distances, and if they are on a work from home schedule, then LORD Save the young working clan.

No time to eat, relax and rewind.

Jo-- jab ab yahi system ban he gaya, these festive occasions, they might as well snatch a few hours for each other, and then with the neo- awareness of semi equal statuses on many a fronts, the desire to pamper each other, the sharing and caring , all gets bundled into a common urge…..    so  KARVA CHAUTH couple fasting  is exciting time, time to shower gifts to each other, with lots of shopping giving Love n receiving more  and more of it.

There is no harm in dressing up like a bride again. There is thrill in shopping for the spouse, to see that he wears the matching colour codes  (men today enjoy wearing what their wives get for them!)

Yes the age of Togetherness has to be strived for

The urge to care for each other has to be nurtured.

The uplifting of the wives image is to be kept in Mind

The effort and time needs to be created to show, and show by action that I am with you.

That’s what the young gen is into. And those many who are not yet into this cult will soon join forces, because marriage is about permanence, marriage is about sharing and caring.

Those who understand that is all about Give and take, Sharing and caring:: SURVIVE.

There is much that I will be touching and elaborating about the other types of tangents , exposures, tumultuous effects that conflict our minds , many a times, and work on salvaging those situations. But that has to wait.

Education & faith are two diff things:

 Faith has nothing to do with education n vice versa.

Just a word ot two about Education & faith

They can be two diff things

They can also go hand in hand

 Man has gone to the moon. Chandrayan just happened

If man puts his mind to a thing/ item/ place or event, he can make it possible.

A Karva Chauth is just another day, Just another date.

An event. Lakha n lakhs , nay Crores n crores of women pray , fast on this day.

Please carry on if you want to..

Please do not carry on if health is adverse..

Please listen to your inner voice

Your young men are with you, many now  partake this festivity along with their spouses . I can probably go on & on & on, you too can add so much to this, but I just coine a poem, just NOW

 

A poem:

Yeh Rishta do logon ka hai

Yeh Rishta do Dillon ka hai

Shareer Vrat rakhta hai, bhooka pyaasa rehta hai.

 Man ko kaboo kar le kudiye, yeh din jaldi nikal jayegaa,

 Raaat ka pahar sheeghra he aayegaa…

Tera pati saath nahi ho, door daraas shahr me ho-- to kya?

Duty pe ho, waqt pe aa na sakey to kya.?

Do dil saath saaath hon, waqt , pahar, sama kat jayegaa.

 

Chand ki chitki  roshni ujaalaa chidakney lagi hai.

Jaow jaldi jaow, chand mama ko jal chadaow.

 Miyan ji ke saath pooja bhi karo ek duje se pyaar se rasmey bhi  karo.

(Remenber, I have celebrated this festival for years all by my self—such were the contingencies of his career)

Bus yun he pyaar se, sayyayam se, Vishwaas se Jeevan ke is tyohaar ko manatey huey. Apne aap ko, apne parivaar ko, khushiyaaan detey raho.

Pyaar baantey chalo.

Pyaar baantey chalo.

 

Good luck to one & all

Faith + Education

Education vs  faith.

Nothing really matters.

What finally matters is What you want, and mind you ,

You have the POWER to accomplish what you want. So have faith in the Power of Karva Chauth and Together hand in hand Press On regardless.

SKY is the Limit  !!!! 

GOD BLESS!!!!