AHOI ASHTAMI_ New concept in my family

                                 

I "AMITA  BAHL", 

Born and brought up in a family of ARYA SAMAJI'S, knew not the importance, significance, or benefits of 'fasting'.

So after marriage when I saw my Mother in law keeping so many fasts,  many times a month, I was amused, perplexed, and curious.

It was a difficult proposition: how a scientific minded young girl who was in first year Med school (self),  at that time would be able to rationalize what was the meaning of  all this fasting?

My mind did not agree to it all.

My psyche found is  amusing and confusing, why one should fast so  frequently and what was the aim and agenda?

Then a new chapter opened up before me:  

My role from that of being a daughter, a sister, a student now started adding wings, I had become a wife, a bahu and a sis in law .So many new roles , and while I was trying to catch up, and kind of understand the role of a married woman, I started to understand that married women and a lot of young girls in Northern India also fast.

My mind did not see eye to eye . But now that I had started moving along with some married ladies, I oft heard that   a large community of ladies did keep fasts , and that too on many an occasion.

 The significance of Karva Chauth soon dawned on me , and I readily, happily, willingly kept that fast. 

I have already narrated that story in my last episode.

Then suddenly I was in the family way, and my MIL came up to me and said  "I know you do not understand the concept of fasting, but you kept  fast for your Husband,  will you keep one more fast for the son who is going to arrive? 

Whether it was emotional black mail or not, whether it was her way of giving importance to the VRAT or not,  I know not; I immediately  agreed,-  but added a RIDER:

For me both sexes are equal, so I will fast on this day whether it is a male or a female child.  She smiled and agreed!

That's how my journey of this special fast began. 

So.... AHOI ASHTAMI!!!! 

WHAT is this?

AHOI ASHTAMI is a festival performed exclusively in India, with its festivities being conducted mostly in Northern India, parts of Rajasthan, UP, Haryana, Gujarat, Maharashtra, and some southern states. 

  AHOI is a word coined from 'AHO" 

The  meaning of AHOI is to make the unknown happen, or ANHONI KO  HONI BANANA.

AHOI Mata is supposed to be an incarnate of MA DURGA/  GODDESS PARVATI.

Ahoi mata is also known as KRISHNA- ASHTAMI as it falls on the 8th day of the Kartik/ Lunar month. 

The day is also known as AHOI AATHE because this fasting is done during ASHTAMI Tithe which is the 8th day of the Lunar Month. While the Indian women esp. the women of Northern India fast for the longevity of their husbands on the fourth day of the Lunar month (four days before the Ashtami date) and this day & date is popularly known as the famous KARVA CHAUTH FESTIVAL, the  AHOI ASHTAMI VRAT is performed by women for the Health, longevity n happiness of their sons. This day the ladies take a SANKALP-- a PLEDGE.

Category of people who follow this Vrat :

Traditionally it is the  married ladies who do this VRAT for their sons to pray n beseech the Mata to grant their sons Long Life, health, and longevity as also to pray that their dreams  to come true.But there is a sect where in the ladies, who are unable to conceive or have had a no. of miscarriages, also perform this pooja. 

Then there is a story that those couples (both husband   & wife) who are child less, they also go to the Radha Kund located in the GOVARDHAN PARIKRAMA PATH  at Mathura to bathe  at 12 at midnight to pray for want of their child.

Some stories have been propounded, but the main one is the one where in a village woman accidently kills a Lion's  cub, In consequence , as a result of the bad curse,  she lost her seven sons to premature death one after the other. She became desolate and depressed. 

She was advised to pray to Ahoi   mata (who is considered as a protector of off springs of all living beings) along with the picture of the cub. She performed  pooja, fasted as was advised, very fervently n religiously  with full faith & devotion .The Mata forgave her, her sins, and soon she was blessed with all seven sons.

Stories are stories, but faith and belief , especially in our country at  times sees no reason. We seriously believe in our country, that prayers, pooja, & customs followed traditionally with fervor and limitless obeisance to the specific deity will definitely yield results.

Well, that's so much about religion, custom, pooja n Vrat ki kahani.

Now- coming back to understanding it all:

SIGNIFICANCE as I perceive:

Basically, every mother wants to see her children achieving newer and higher accolades, want their children healthy, and lead a long and lengthy life, full of health, wealth and prosperity ,so they willingly and happily  fast on this One day.

If you compare it with Karva Chauth, it also begins at Day break, but unlike Karva Chauth there is no ritual of a early morning SARGI ceremony. So actually its kind of tougher than Karva Chauth. but the saving grace is that while in  Karva Chauth the women breaks the fast only after sighting the Moon, here we can break this fast as soon as we spot the first Tara  (STAR).

 Traditionally mothers fast from dawn to dusk , essentially for the male child,  however in  modern India,  with the neo- awareness gaining momentum in the psyche of the women; like the RIDER that I put 'in', many women also, now keep the fast for both , the daughters n their sons.

While the Karva Chauth Vrat is broken only after seeing the Moon, this Vrat has a shorter time span, The mother's  break the fast as soon as they spot the first star in the sky. 

A FEW DO'S AND DONT'S

Some basic guidelines:

Proper Satvik food to be prepared.

No Tamsik food to be consumed  ( onions, garlic, eggs or chicken etc)

Do not use any sharp objects like scissors, knives, blades. Avoid digging/ ploughing the land .

 The food to be prepared, the sweet meats to be made are specific to each community.  while some make Mal pooaas, the other community may indulge in Sweet poodas. Some make atta ka halwa, while others make with sooji.

Having  written all this, why I began to write all this about this VRAT is not to talk about its significance, it's  story or to spin a yarn.

As my kids were growing up, they would see and experience these festivities and be a part of it all.

My son "Akhilesh" one day came up n said," Mom you fast for me

Tomorrow is "AHOI ASHTAMI" ,  I will fast for you  too.  I was amazed, amused, secretly happy and proud that my son had come up with this theory.

Friends, thus began the cycle of a two way pooja system in our family, where ever he was, whether with me in the same station / or out in another station, he would fast along with me. he would then call to ask how I was fairing, and how and when the stars would arrive n arise, the excitement n josh of this fast got doubled and a new  bond of caring and sharing between us grew stronger. We kind of grew to understand each other more closely and the feeling of love kind of also doubled!!

                                       (1991-LEKHAPANI)

It was a new found awareness, a new culture that has started in our family. a few years later my daughter who is 8 yrs his junior also started , and then all of us used to remain very excited and thrilled, and start looking forward to this special event.  And Lo & Behold the excitement was tripled  when my Daughter in law also started n joined the band wagon. 

             (When DIL also joined the bandwagon)

My in laws were really amused at this neo culture and would keep telling others in our circle of friends of this new trend specific to our family! 

 See-- no where it says that the son has to fast. So how n why this culture developed.

This is Naya zamana, a nai soch, a naya vichaar!!!

The young generation thinks , reasons and acts. Its not to reason why, it is but to do and die: is the very old poem I often quote,  but, into the plethora of  reasoning, runs the heart and mind of the young ones-- fully alert, that wants an answer to each and every query.

This new SOCH, is a new basket of emotions.

I just want to write that I'm personally a very proud mother.

This simple , single act that took seed into my son's brain- to fast for his mother, while she fasted for him, was probably born out of love for his mom. This was soon followed upon by my daughter and subsequently by my Bahu  as well!

This has left an undeniable impression on my mind.

To sum off, AHOI ASHTAMI is   a  festival essentially that lays emphasis value of PARENTING as also how the selfless and unconditional a mother's love is for her kids!!

Love, caring ,  sharing between a Mother and her kids and vice versa--With 68 years of my experience I can now say that ,

1.A MOTHERS LOVE IS TOTALLY UNCONDITIONAL,UNPARALLED & UNCOMPARABLE.

2. EMPOWERING, EXTRODINARY,ENORMOUS AND ALL ENCOMPASSING!!

Words will always be feeble when u sit to compare her feelings for her siblings.  Between siblings one kid may feel that my mom loves me less and loves the other more. I beg to state, that as far as my experience goes, Mother's love is unconditional, and equal for all, be it a  male  or a female child.  She may be more anxious for one over the other, (for some inexplicable reason), never the less, her  feelings, her heart envelopes them all with the same fervor of warmth . At times she may emote differently, but, may be she has definite reasons for doing so, may be situations may be amiss!!

As a thumb rule, I feel all fingers may be unequal, but her love is equal for all.

The kids , on their part, may claim and proclaim their love as being huge and large, but, they can, and they do have their own agenda to crack, so feelings n emotions may waver from time to time.

Yet, as a FINALE  :

I want to just pen off this episode by saying that parenting and all the love n concern is what is at the back of a mother's mind when she fasts for her children .

I wish who so ever reads this, please-- pause, ponder, and reflect. 

Start looking at your parents a little more reflectively, start caring for her a little more and yes express, and show, to them that you do care for them, hold their hand , even if living in far flung areas, call them once in a while, connect with them, reach out to them.

Young men & women of this neo generation, 

Nothing I can say or write you do not know.

But just create some time and  show them

THAT  YOU CARE.....!!@@@@